It's a book of wisdom and a manual for aspies. Not a lot of people really know what asperger really is let alone being able to try to understand their peculiarities. The first person I can think of, who has traits of aspergers, and who you can relate too easily, is Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory.
In a snapshot, from what I read from this book and from my further readings on the topic, aspergers is a high functioning autism. Physically they don't look any different from you and me - the nypicals. But emotionally they are a little bit behind and intellectually (probably most of them) they are way steps ahead of you and me. Sometimes I like to think they are still children emotionally where they are still struggling handling the ropes of social cues and unwritten social rules.
Apart from poor EQ (including inability to read body language, poor intimacy, interpersonal skills, lacking reciprocity, lack eye contact) their physical senses are a lot more sensitive than an average person. Sometimes this reminds me of Superman - how when he was a child and he discovered his smell, hearing and touch is amplified, and that made him scared and angry at the same time. For me, its a perfect way of seeing aspies - put them in a crowd, or in an environment of loud music, or that come close with human touch - it irks them somehow. It's not their fault, like I said, its like Superman. When they can't control it, it feels extremely unsettled for them inside and this can lead them to act out. So John, through self-practise and control, learnt to manage this by focusing on one object, or subject or train of thought that could help ease his senses and return to a harmonious state of mind. I can only assume, that would take massive effort and patience on his end and I genuinely do respect him for being able to do that.
But the beautiful thing about aspies, it's their power to focus on a particular subject or thing or hobby with intensity, that they can block everything and everyone out. This results them to be very self-absorbed at whatever they are focusing on and makes them very detailed and very pedantic at what they do, which then explains they become individuals who excelled with a particular set of skills. They become individuals such as Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Virginia Woolf (just to name a few).
I think I might have rambled on a lot on asperger traits. I happen to be quite passionate about this topic because someone with aspergers, despite their lack of social skills, they are very endearing human beings, once anyone make the time to actually understand it is not intentionally their fault they can't normally function socially. It's just the way the brain is wired that way and that they are good people. I see them as children in a lot of ways - they need a lot of patience, understanding and tolerance.
Just as similar to John's story from this book, what happened was no one actually was aware he was diagnosed with asperger or that people at that time even knew what that was. So he was bullied in school because of his inability to know how to make friends (just think of Sheldon - he is the perfect example). As he shares his experience, at the same time, he advises on what to do and what not to do among the nypicals. The manual, if read by a nypical with no knowledge of aspergers, would think all that is advised is basic common sense or that its one of those unwritten rules that you just would know. But you see, aspergers don't and can't and not meant to see it that way. So it's very humbling and beautiful the way John tries to help other aspies to understand the world of nypicals and how to act accordingly to the social rules.
I love this biography of John's life with aspergers. It's honest, beautiful and all so humbling. For those who knows someone close with aspergers or that he/she is your family member with aspgergers, I think it would be best to take your time to read this book. It might help you to see what aspies see, and it can help you understand a little why they are who they are. And that it might help make it easier to ease the tension and expectations on aspies.
Like I said, I am passionate towards the topic of aspergers and I love looking and embracing the traits aspies own. I sincerely think they are extremely beautiful in their own way and they should be reminded how they are fine and perfect the way they are. =)
No comments:
Post a Comment